Political Evolutions & the Questions They Raise

I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I cant shake the nagging feeling that I'm some kind of a sellout to my belief system.

When I was younger, I thought the best thing in the world would've been to grow up and go into the military or law enforcement & I wanted to be an FBI agent. Then, when I was 10 years old, I watched the news as government agents killed a woman and her baby in Ruby Ridge Idaho, and even then I knew something was very wrong. Later, I watched on TV as the government burnt down the Branch Davidian church [it may have been a cult, but that's even more reason those people shouldn't have died in their ignorance], killing even more children and innocent people, and I understood a little more. I watched the documentaries on tv about these things, and saw that these people were killed because of their beliefs - that wasn't supposed to happen in America.

When I was 12 years old, I watched the Oklahoma City bombing on tv, and started trying to learn about why it had happened. Then, I started taking an interest in domestic terrorism, and thought I'd go into law enforcement to focus on it - so bombings could be stopped, but innocent people with unpopular ideas would not be killed again. I thought, back then, that one person could make a difference in the system. After 9/11, and the creation of Homeland Security & the Patriot Act, I knew that I could never work in counterterrorism, because it will be the agency that will eventually kill more innocents and trample on more rights, so I changed my major to sociology. Less than a year later, I dropped out of college and ended up working for the state prison system, because it was the only job I could get.

As I studied the patriot movement, I found I had more in common with those "dangerous extremists" than most of the government agents. I also made/found a lot of friends in the racialist movement, because it all made sense then, and it fit in with what I'd been taught. I know now that the two are really not related, but the government and media made it seem so at the time, so that was what I sought out. I met some good people then, and a lot of people who were just messed up, but I threw myself into activism full force, and I was good at it, and rose to local leadership pretty quickly.

I didn't realize it, but I let the movement define who I was, and what I thought, and I started losing myself - I saw everything in the terms of race or conspiracies, and that blinded me to the politics behind certain things. I started studying street gangs and argued that skinheads and "hate groups" weren't gangs, but then started reading stories and gang literature, and saw a reflection of what I'd been living, with only the names and races changed. I also saw how flimsy "movement" friendships were when someone got jealous over your position or name recognition, and spent some time in the hospital recovering from that one, and reevaluating everything in my life.

The biggest mistake I made was doing everything to the extreme, which is must be where the label "extremist" came from. Of course, all sociopolitical movements like to recruit teens, for exactly that reason. Whatever movement I'd have joined would've problem been the same - I would have thrown everything I had into the cause. After all, I was equally dedicated to women's rights and anti-censorship at the time, and I've seen teens of all persuasions go to all sorts of extremes for various movements and beliefs.

At the same time I was trying to make sense of my life, I started getting back to my roots. I realized that friendship goes beyond racial and political alliances; many of my "comrades" turned their backs on me or trashed me, while a friend who was now an antiracist stood by me, and several antiracists and people I knew of other races contacted my husband to see if I was ok and to offer help. I took about a year's break from everything, and reevaluated most of my life until that time. There was a lot I saw that I didn't like, but a few good things that shined through, most of which I'd moved away from as I got more extreme.

I also found my way back to God, and got my roots in the Bible, which helped me sort everything else out. I did a lot of "soul searching" on various things, and realized that the one thing I really valued was personal freedom, and that some factions within the [racialist] "movement" I'd worked so closely with did nothing but stifle that by attempting to regulate people's life (or proposing to do so once "we" took power). While I still hold the core beliefs, and believe that interracial marriage is wrong, I also see the dangers of a system that could legislate marriage or social relations. Because I value freedom more than "race", I can't support laws that would try to restrict who people mixed with, or what people thought, said, or believed.

Searching for balance brought me back to my original roots in the "survivalist"/patriot community, with a lot of cautions. In many ways, I feel like I'm going backwards to when I was 14 or 15, a budding survivalist, who decided to become a racialist skinhead - here I am back at the fork in the road, taking the other path, after driving as far as I could see on the one - I still don't know where it may take me, but at least now I've got God with me on the ride.

I've got all the movements and "isms" sorted out somewhat, and it still comes back to issues of freedom. Here I am, concerned about unjust laws, seeing friends go to prison on bogus charges, and hearing how they're being treated, and here I am working in a prison myself. I'm not sure I can reconcile my conscience with being in the position of enforcing the laws and authority of a state and a system I've lost faith in, if I ever had it. It's not quite being a Federal agent, which I decided against doing for moral reasons (I feared being sent to arrest or raid a friend or former friend or ally), but it's still too close for comfort. I was driving to work the other day, LE-type uniform and all, listening to a mix tape I found. One of the songs on it was "17 Little Children", about the babies killed in Waco, and it almost made me cry. Tearing up makes me all thoughtful, so I started thinking about how people could carry out orders to let the building burn knowing there were kids in there, and it hit me - all they had to do was follow an order. That's what I do all night, whatever policy or the Lt says to do, and pass down orders to those under me.

I'm caught up in the same system as the ones who lit the fires and fired the bullets, I just haven't been given that order yet. I'd like to say I'd quit and refuse, but shouldn't I take a moral stand before that? Working for the government is working for the government, no matter how I rationalize it, and any moral high ground was taking was just an illusion, because you can't exactly stand for rights in a prison. I've heard the slogans, and repeated them, about dying before being a slave to an oppressive system, but doesn't enforcing government sentences and regulations make me one of the oppressors, and agreeing to work in a job where I consent to searches, additional gun restrictions, uniforms & hairstyle regulations, etc mean I'm voluntarily accepting oppression. I'm a pawn in this game of life, and I don't even know which side I'm being played for or who's playing the game anymore.

Realities of Being a Survivalist

Realities of Being a Survivalist
(Getting Past the "Bug Out" Mentality)

Written by Benjamin T. Moore

Originally posted to the Misc.Survivalism newsgroup

Those of us who've figured things out to various and lesser degrees, realize the need to prepare for a time in the not to distant future when the society we've become accustom to will no longer be functional. Let's pause a moment and savor the meaning of what I just said. Some people who have not really paused to consider the true ramifications of a societal collapse, look forward to these times with an almost naive glee. Visions of "Red Dawn" fire fights with well armed but incompetent troops, camping out and feasting on venison seem to figure heavily in these ill conceived fantasies.

Anyone who has spent anytime in the bush or in actual combat knows that running and gunning is the option of *LAST* resort!!! When things get down to running and gunning your prospects for long-term survival have just become tragically thin. Even elite forces such as the Navy Seals, try to avoid "running and gunning"; they operate from a base. They are inserted, do their jobs and are extracted back to the safety of their base. In the scenario so often fantasized, it would be like being permanently behind enemy lines with no support, no hope of extraction and no supplies. Could you survive? Some could, but they are few and far between. Even they could not survive for long.

Let's explore the notion of living off the land. The reality is, there isn't enough game except in a few places out west, to support a group of any size for any length of time. By the way, you've got to figure you're not going to be the *ONLY* person or group out there fighting for the limited resources. Small game? How many rabbits will you have to kill to feed your self per day? Per week? How about your family? You're going to run out of rabbits pretty quick in whatever area you happen to be in. Fishing? That's a good plan if you're near a body of water. But again, you're not going to be the only one with that idea. Suppose you have a good day and harvest a deer, or twenty or thirty fish, how are you going to preserve the meat? You're probably aren't going to be lugging around a refrigerator or a freezer.

What about items you take for granted, like toilette paper? How much are you going to carry with you on a bug-out? There are many things to consider. The closest description of the bug-out experience is the Mountain Man life style. However, it's important to note, even the "Mountain Men" had to come back to society for supplies every so often. When you begin to consider all the ramifications of "bugging-out", the magnitude of what you're attempting begins to become clear. Of course all this becomes a moot point if you become stuck in a traffic jam trying to leave the city, or if you get rounded up at an unexpected road block. A simple rule for survival in these circumstances is, look at what everybody else is doing, and don't do it!

Let's be smart. The best place to be at in a survival situation is your home. Your home should be your survival retreat! If it's not, make it into your survival retreat. If it's not suitably located, buy one or build one that is. Even a well conceived and located apartment or condominium can become a survival retreat with some work and planning.

The two most powerful assets you can have are storage and concealment. If you want to understand survival, study the masters. The animal kingdom is without exception the best place to learn survival. Almost all animals, as a first line of defense use concealment or camouflage. Even predators such as tigers, cheetahs and leopards use camouflage to assist in their survival. How can we profit from this strategy? The most important thing we can do as survivalist is to *NOT* draw attention to ourselves. A friend of mine once suggested we join an "intentional community" of like-minded people and live in a rural communal setting.

Visions of Waco and Ruby Ridge immediately sprang into my mind. I told this friend I'd rather live next door to the Governor. The likelihood of them taking tanks through the Governor's yard to get to me would be extremely slim. Not to mention being able to keep the News Media five miles away! In essence, "bugging-out" is like leaving the safety of the herd. If you've ever seen predators hunt animals in the wild, the first thing they do is cut them off from the protection of the herd. Then they descend on them and rip them to pieces, while the rest of the herd looks on grateful that it's not them being ripped to pieces.

Do you see the analogy between Waco and Ruby Ridge? These were people who were cut off from the herd by the government predators and savaged. The rest of society has gone back to grazing, thanking their god it wasn't them. They've even gone so far as to justify what happened by saying these people were extremist. This is very much like what happens in the animal kingdom. Only the sickly and diseased fall prey to the lion. Hence, if people are attacked by our government... they must be politically sick. But enough of this. It is not my intent to give you my political exegesis.

Being a Survivalist is a way of life! It's not just storing away supplies for a rainy day. I'm intrigued by people who spend thousands of dollars on camping equipment, semi-automatic rifles and hand guns, and who don't spend money where it counts. Let me give you some examples. Are you physically fit? How many miles can you run? How many miles can you run with a full pack on your back? Take an honest assessment of your self. Would you feel safe as the cruise ship pulled away from the dock knowing you had brought along your scuba tank, mask and fins, but had never had a swimming lesson and couldnt swim? If so, you'd better check the ship you're sailing on... It might be the Titanic.

The other thing that fascinates me, is the number of arm chair survivalist that spend great time carefully assembling a firearms battery, but don't take the time to become truly proficient with the firearms of their choice. Too many times we trade the illusion of security for reality. The reality is, everything is governed by chance and probability. Our goal should be to turn a low probability of survival into a high probability of survival.

I can only shake my head in disbelief at those who spend hundreds of dollars on the finest handgun they can afford - as well they should, how much is your life worth - but then spend $9.95 on a little suede inside the pants holster for it. That holster will most likely get you killed! I practice quick drawing each of my primary pieces at least 100 times per day. I go to the range regularly. I practice quick draw with carry ammunition, that's the ammo I carry for survival and defense at 100 yards. I can draw, fire and *keep* all shots in the kill zone at 100 yards quicker than most of the Hollywood enhanced draws you see in the movies.

Does this make me the baddest thing walking? Nope! Because nobody's shooting back! What it does is increase the probability of my chances for survival against someone who's got their nice, shiny, new-in-the-box looking pistol in a $9.95 brown suede inside the pants holster. I'm not worried about the chap who carries an almost new looking pistol in a holster that looks like he just took it out of the plastic. I'm worried about that chap who's pistol has the fine patina of holster wear, the chap who's pistol is scratched and worn. To me he's a far more dangerous foe. It's been said and it's true, beware the man that owns one gun... and shoots it!

Being a survivalist is a way of life. Is your home hardened? Is it stocked and supplied? Are you constantly thinking of ways to manufacture more of the things you go to the store and purchase? If your mate doesn't sew, do you? Could you make a serviceable out fit out of cloth or fabric? Or will you be reduced to foraging for garments if TEOTWAWKI comes in our life time? It certainly looks like it's just around the corner... Being able to "Bug-Out" is good, but it should never become your primary survival strategy!

If you don't have a hardened place to "Bug-Out" to, you're probably wasting your time. Your best bet is to harden your home. Don't blow your cover by bragging about your supplies, in fact be extremely cautious about who you allow into your home. If things blow up, you don't want someone who's seen and noted your food stores, showing up on your door step with their family asking to share what you've set aside through your hard labor and sacrifice. The best neighbors are those that mind their own business. Mind yours and insist they mind theirs. You want to develop a support network of people who not only believe the way you do... but who believe strongly enough to act on their beliefs. In a survival situation everyone must pull their own weight.

Benjamin T. Moore, Jr. (Jian #BlackTech IRC Chat - Efnet)