Can I believe in freedom and still live with myself?

I've had a lot going on in my life lately, and haven't had much time or motivation to blog about it all, so now's the time to play catch-up. More than anything, I've just done a whole lot of thinking about some major issues and decisions in my life. I've come to a few conclusions, and been left with even more questions that are pretty hard to answer. A lot of these thoughts overlap, but I'll try to put them in some sort of order just for the sake of writing them down.

I guess the main thing that's bugging me is the conflict between morality and freedom - I would love to live in a truly libertarian society, but I guess I don't have enough confidence in the majority of people to do what's right, when given the choice. People are so used to a socialist welfare state which "supplies their needs" by controlling their lives, they'd re-establish the same system, or one even worse, as soon as they were free of the current one, and able to do what they want. How on earth can we make this nation truly free, when most of its citizens don't seem to want freedom or responsibility for their own welfare?

This is bleeding over into my political/social worldview big-time. At one time, I supported many aspects of national socialism but, as I get older, I'm beginning to find the whole concept rather distasteful. The more I study about communism, in theory and practice, the more similar it seems to Nazism, and I can't endorse either one of those systems, because they both work on the same principles, with the same inherent flaws. I don't see myself ever being willing to sacrifice liberty for "the race" or "the state", when it really means placing myself in the hands of corrupt, or corruptible political leaders. I wonder if certain socio-political goals and beliefs of mine or really compatible with a free society and, if forced to choose, which convictions I'll really stand for.

Of course, it's also challenging how I look at religion, not that hat hasn't been challenged & reevaluated several times already. I really love the church I'm in, and I hold to most fundamental doctrines, but I've always been uneasy with certain of the cultural/historical, but extra-Biblical traditions & standards within Fundamentalism. Some of these, I've been able to overlook and just "go along with", because they didn't mean anything to me, but I certainly don't want to make myself over just to fit the stereotypical "IFB church lady" mold. My faith and convictions are still the same, and people are just going to have to live with my little "quirks". I'm not going to use religion to impose the same control over people that I am trying to help take back from the government, and I'm not going to cave to that pressure myself. It seems both hypocritical and cowardly to give up individualism because of social pressure or fear of being "churched".

I can't explain all that's happened in the last few weeks, just that I've become a lot more determined to do something and to change the world, but want to make sure I have my priorities in order. I'd love to be able to live in a society or community that is all white, that is dominated by Christian faith & morality, but that is also free from both socialist & fascist forms of government & social programs. This seems like an impossible dream, and it's not possible under either the current US government, or under National Socialism [or most other forms en vogue in the racialist movement today]. For now, it's just a foggy vision, but I hope to bring it into focus, first to understand what it is I'm really looking for, then to formulate the steps to make it happen.